Communication – part two: Why being open to giving and receiving effective and constructive feedback is vital for your business and personal growth
Virtual Success Show
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Episode breakdown
In episode two of our three-part special, we focus in on the area of giving and receiving effective feedback and why being open to this as a business owner is essential for the growth of your people and your business, as well as your own personal growth. Giving constructive feedback can be quite a challenging experience, especially when the feedback may be somewhat negative and so a lot of entrepreneurs struggle with this, or may shy away from it completely.
- Real-life case studies on the dos and don’ts of giving effective feedback.
- Why giving feedback doesn’t necessarily have to be a horrible conversation.
- When done correctly, the feedback process can be collaborative and rewarding.
- How important it is to give feedback to your support assistant in order to refine systems and processes going forward.
- How the feedback process extends beyond that initial conversation.
- Why seeing you and your support assistant as a team is paramount to a successful working relationship.
Feedback is a two-way street—it works best when it’s collaborative.
In this episode
00:00 - Introduction
Barbara and Matt open episode two of their communication series, focusing on the importance of giving and receiving effective feedback. Barbara highlights that while feedback is often challenging, it can be a positive, collaborative experience when done right. Matt adds that many business owners struggle because they avoid feedback or aren’t open to it, even though it’s a cornerstone of personal and business growth. This episode builds on episode one (setting tasks up for success) and leads into episode three (handling tough conversations).
03:18 – It’s a two-way street
Barbara shares that giving and receiving feedback doesn’t come naturally and has been a personal struggle for her as an entrepreneur. Through experience, she’s learned that feedback doesn’t have to be negative or uncomfortable—it can be collaborative, nurturing, and positive when done effectively. She emphasizes that feedback is a two-way process, where both the leader and the staff member share perspectives.
04:17 – Resistance as a result of fear
Matt explains that resistance to feedback often comes from two main fears: fear of rejection and fear of not being liked. Barbara relates to the latter, admitting it can make giving feedback uncomfortable, especially when frustration is involved. She adds that client cases often reveal these same fears—seen in feedback forms and support tickets—showing how common and impactful they are in communication.
06:01 – Client case study – “Please don’t tell my support assistant, but…”
Barbara shares that many clients submit complaints disguised as feedback but often add, “Please don’t tell my support assistant.” She explains this is ineffective because without open communication or mediation, issues remain unresolved and simply turn into unproductive venting.
06:46 – Lose-lose strategy
Matt explains that avoiding direct feedback is a lose-lose strategy: the support assistant misses the chance to improve, and the client stays frustrated, often doing the work themselves. Barbara adds that while writing complaints may give clients temporary relief, the frustration resurfaces if they don’t involve the support assistant in an open, collaborative discussion—making true resolution impossible.
08:04 – Be clear with your feedback communication
Barbara shares a case study where a client gave vague feedback—saying a landing page was “just not right” without clarifying why—then dismissed the task and moved on. She explains this approach feels dismissive, damages confidence, and is ineffective communication. Matt adds that such issues often stem from how the task was originally set up, reminding clients to reflect on their own role in the process before blaming others.
09:48 – It’s not a blame game
Matt stresses that feedback isn’t about blame but about identifying where a process broke down so the support assistant can improve. Without clear, specific feedback, improvement is impossible. Barbara adds that some clients avoid giving feedback because they feel it takes too much time, but warns this mindset leads to doing the work themselves long-term. She emphasizes that effective feedback should be direct, collaborative, and non-accusatory, focusing on solutions and shared responsibility.
11:56 – Be mindful of cultural differences
Matt and Barbara explain that Filipino support assistants often have a strong desire to please but can struggle with criticism due to the weight of shame. Using direct but softened, collaborative language helps them feel supported, open up, and improve quickly. They stress that feedback must be a two-way process—neither overly harsh nor self-blaming—to be effective.
13:13 – The use of video communication
Matt recommends using video calls when giving feedback to virtual teams. Seeing facial expressions and body language reduces misunderstandings, prevents perceived frustration or anger, and helps both sides interpret the conversation more positively and clearly.
14:00 – Feedback is more than one conversation
Barbara stresses that feedback should be an ongoing process, not a one-time conversation. After initial feedback, clients should stay closely engaged with their support assistant for a few weeks, encouraging reporting and collaboration until both feel confident. She recalls a client who, frustrated with giving feedback, concluded that “a support assistant won’t work for me” and even cited others with similar beliefs. Barbara highlights how such fixed mindsets—seeing feedback as a waste of time or money—can be the thin line between failure and success with support assistants.
15:55 – Be willing to invest the time up front
Matt and Barbara emphasize that working with a support assistant requires time and upfront investment to build trust, delegate effectively, and avoid becoming the bottleneck. Without this effort, even in-office staff would fail. Poor or vague feedback creates a downward spiral—tasks keep failing, communication breaks down, resentment builds, and both client and support assistant lose respect for each other, often leading to a failed working relationship.
17:43 – Some practical steps to put in place
Matt shares practical steps for giving effective feedback. First, it’s important to get clarity on where the process went wrong and what exactly caused dissatisfaction. Then, seek to understand how the support assistant approached the task before giving direction—this helps identify what can be refined rather than only judging the final outcome. The process may require slowing down to speed up, meaning reviewing tasks step by step, retraining if necessary, or improving systems and communication methods like reporting. Finally, the way feedback is delivered matters—using mindful language, ideally over video, and approaching the conversation with the goal of helping the support assistant improve so work is done correctly and consistently moving forward.
20:03 – See yourselves as a team
Barbara stresses the importance of shifting from a “me vs. them” mindset to a team approach with your support assistant. Framing conversations around working together for success creates a more positive dynamic, strengthens the relationship, and makes the support assistant feel valued as part of the team. Matt adds that many clients who claim “a support assistant won’t work for me” often fall into this mindset trap, which undermines the partnership from the start.
21:14 – The mindset for success
Matt highlights that he’s seen support assistants succeed across every industry, and the real factor that determines success is the owner’s mindset. When leaders commit to making it work—accepting mistakes, having open conversations, and improving together—support assistants thrive. But if the expectation is to simply dump tasks and assume they’ll know everything, failure is almost guaranteed. Feedback and mindset are what truly separate success from failure with a support assistant.
22:36 – Being mindful of how you communicate your feedback
Barbara stresses that mindset and communication are the two most critical factors—everything else like skills and processes can be learned together. She admits feedback wasn’t natural for her and still takes effort, but approaching it as a team-focused, open, and less rigid conversation makes it effective. Using video helps pick up on body language and cues, allowing you to understand if the support assistant is overwhelmed or if something deeper is affecting their performance.
23:50 – Make your intentions clear
Matt shares that during support assistant induction, he sets clear expectations about feedback—explaining his style, clarifying that directness isn’t rudeness, and encouraging open communication. This prevents surprises and builds trust. Barbara agrees, noting it prepares support assistants for success and filters out those who may not align early on, which ultimately avoids bigger issues later.
25:25 – Wrapping things up
The hosts wrap up by previewing the next episode, which will cover handling tough conversations when issues spiral out of control—often avoided but crucial before deciding to let someone go. They encourage listeners to subscribe, share the show, and contribute their own feedback experiences to help the community learn.
